Sunday, February 14, 2016

Livingston, We Presume: Einstein's Lost Gravitational Waves Found in Louisiana


We always knew there was something odd about Livingston. North of and between the cyclotronic nodes of New Orleans and Baton Rouge, its obscurity reflects the wayward space-time of a state where gravitas is often lacking and gravity meanders along its own feral, wayward path, as unpredictable as stray cats, implausibly buoying listing drunks while snaring the respectable via impromptu voids that swallow cars, sections of streets and even small towns with scant warning. Ages ago, an oracular hermit named Two-hat, who observed the nuances of spacetime from a folly in the guise of a garage on Dante Street, warned of a quantum gyre manifesting as a simulacrum of the city emanating from parts of its historic districts, causing an otherdimensional urban doppleganger to coexist above, below and alongside it. Later, another seer and geopsychic artist, Myrtle von Damitz, was able to perceive and reproduce its ambient aura, above left, via her finely honed attunement to magnetic fields. Now we finally have an official scientific explanation for all the derelict particles and waves that litter the local landscape, and for that we are thankful. Well done, Einstein--better late than never! ~Bookhardt

Gravitational Waves Explained: